


Open All Night

by tinyheadtoomanyteeth



Series: Crushlight [2]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: F/M, Femdom, Future Fic, Mild Kink, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 19:10:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10394127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyheadtoomanyteeth/pseuds/tinyheadtoomanyteeth
Summary: In the dead of winter, more than three years after their stolen night at the pool, Marie crosses paths with someone she thought she'd never see again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> To be eventually concluded. Song at the beginning is "Bastards of Young" by the Replacements.

_"God, what a mess_

_On the ladder of success_

_Well you take one step and miss the whole first rung_

_Dreams, unfulfilled_

_Graduate unsk--led_

_It b--ts p--k- -... w_ -..."

"Oh, come on!"

The tape deck had been cutting out like this lately. A few solid thwacks to the console sometimes did the trick, but today the static pop and hiss clearly weren't going anywhere. Marie switched to the FM radio with a huff, then quickly turned it off again; "It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" was the last thing she wanted to hear right now. She sighed wearily.

It was two days before Christmas, not that she had any plans for the holiday. Her old car chugged and rattled as she made her way across town, through a hubbub of bright seasonal decorations and the sound of ringing bells. Pedestrians filled the sidewalks, heavily laden with shopping bags, their breath forming little ghosts in the air as they hurried from shop to shop. The temperature had been dropping all afternoon. An electric nativity in front of the First Episcopal Church flickered on as Marie passed by, but she kept her eyes on the road, dispassionately, thinking of nothing in particular. Gradually the twinkling lights began to thin out as the neighborhood turned grimier and less inviting, and before long she came to a stop, parking on the street in front of her squat grey apartment building. The early evening sky was grey too, full of pregnant-looking clouds, but no snow yet, despite the forecast. She left her windshield wipers up just in case.

Her feet ached as she trudged up the stairs. It had been a long shift, on one of the busiest shopping days of the year no less, and this was going to be her only night off for the next week. For a brief moment she regretted signing on for so many extra hours but quickly shook that thought out of her head, reminding herself of her reasons for doing so. Even retail beat the alternative. Maybe she'd luck out and the snow would force last-minute shoppers to stay home, frantically handcrafting gifts for whoever was lowest down on their lists. _Coupon for one free hug_ , she thought sardonically, fumbling with her keys. Her fingers were almost numb. It really was time to buy a new pair of gloves, but scraping and saving for so long had made her thrifty to a fault, and she stubbornly refused to replace any item of clothing until it was practically disintegrating-

She froze. The running monologue in her head suddenly ceased, like turning off a tap. Her door was unlocked.

"Beth?" she called tentatively. Her roommate was visiting family out of town, she knew, but no one else had a key. She crept inside, setting down her bag as quietly as possible and picking up the baseball bat resting in the nearest corner. The apartment was messy, but no more so than usual- nothing seemed missing or out of place until she noticed, with a start, that a light was coming from under her bedroom door. She moved toward it, noiseless as a cat.

Steeling herself, she held the bat at the ready and kicked the door open. Then laughed.

"Huh!"

Brightly-colored strings of lights were dangling on either side of the window, criss-crossing the low ceiling, wrapping around her clothes-covered desk chair to form a sort of impromptu Christmas tree. They blinked like little stars, pink and green and blue and gold. On the end of the unmade bed were a few small parcels and a note confirming what she had known the second she burst in: her sisters had paid a visit in her absence.

_Must've picked the lock_ , she thought. The note was written in Lee's usual sloppy cursive:

_Hey, I know you and Mom aren't gonna bury the hatchet anytime soon but me and May hardly ever see you anymore. Come hang out before the New Year. Don't work too hard either. Miss you._

And below it, in May's loopier scrawl:

_DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS! XOXO_

She ignored that, peeling back the red and white striped paper. Inside were three Christmas crackers, two bottles of nail polish (good colors, too), an issue of Popular Mechanics, and an envelope containing $75. The money was in cash, and must have come out of Lee's tips if the assortment of small bills was any indication. Marie felt a pang; Lee was barely better off than she was.

"I miss you too," she said aloud. A wave of loneliness washed over her. She looked around the room, blinking back tears; the quiet evening at home she had been looking forward to all day suddenly seemed too subdued, too ripe for wallowing in self-pity. But where else was there to go? Some decent bands were playing at the Pit Club tonight, but she dismissed that idea out of hand- Tommy would probably be there, new girlfriend in tow, and anyway she didn't feel like getting all gussied up right now. She could see a movie, but nothing interesting was playing at the second-run theater... Her stomach growled. Dinner, right. As good a plan as any, and she hadn't even taken her coat off yet.

It was only a few blocks to her usual diner, so she made the trip on foot. The pink neon sign that said OPEN ALL NIGHT greeted her like an old friend, and as she pushed open the door she was already perusing the familiar menu in her mind's eye. Grilled cheese tonight, maybe? Steak and eggs? Definitely coffee- 

The door hadn't even closed behind her before someone immediately called out from the corner.

"Oh my God, is that Marie Kanker?"

She stopped dead in her tracks. Seated together in a cramped booth were the Eds, waving at her from behind half-eaten plates of cheap food. Her stomach dropped, and for a second she seriously considered turning back around and bolting out the door. Not that she had a problem with Big Ed; they had shared the occasional friendly conversation at the comic book shop where he worked, and he always had good movie recommendations. But Eddy's loudmouth hucksterism was usually guaranteed to grind on her last nerve, and she hadn't really been in the mood for suffering fools lately. Then, of course, there was Double D...

_And here I thought I was avoiding guys who've seen me naked_ , she thought, flustered. They hadn't talked in years; genuine attempts to stay in touch had been made after he went away to school, but they had barely begun to discover each other at that point, hadn't had the time to build a strong enough foundation to weather the distance. Their brief connection had foundered, petering out awkwardly until they just stopped speaking altogether, not even paying lip service to staying friends. It was almost easier that way.

Still, that felt like a long time ago now. Life had gone on, growing increasingly complicated in ways that loomed so much larger than the drama of puppy love... from across the room he looked perfectly relaxed and normal, and why shouldn't he? Surely they could both be grown-ups about it. She squared her shoulders. "Hiya boys," she called back, mustering the old swagger and trying not to sound as tired as she felt.

Eddy beckoned her over excitedly; she slid into the booth across from him, unwinding her scarf. Ed sat to her left, putting Edd as far away physically as possible, though that was only sort of on purpose. The waitress appeared, pen at the ready. "Get you anything, hon?"

"Fries and a Coke, thanks." Best to keep it light, in case she needed to make a quick getaway. She turned back to the trio. "So what brings you gentlemen to my little corner of the world?"

Eddy gave his seatmate a hearty clap on the back, almost spilling his water. "This guy's actually home for once, so we thought we'd take him out on the town! D'you tell her you're already in grad school, sockhead?"

"No, we haven't really had the chance to-"

"Summer classes! Why didn't I think of that? At this rate he'll have a cure for the common cold by Labor Day!..."

"No kidding?" Marie raised her eyebrows, impressed, but Edd only shrugged humbly.

"I'm just a research assistant at this point. Viral pathology is fascinating work but I've got to pay my dues, it's a demanding field requiring years of study..."

"Good thing you love school, Double D!" Ed chimed in. Eddy shook his head.

"Not me, man. I don't get it. College was supposed to be a nonstop party scene! Chicks! Beer! Pranks! But three and half years in my old man is still on my ass about _grades_..."  The waitress returned with Marie's order and she tuned out Eddy's ongoing tirade, reaching for the ketchup. Edd handed it to her.

"Thanks." She couldn't help giving him a discreet once-over. He looked good, she had to admit- got a little taller. Filled out a bit, though there was still an air of that cautious gawkiness she always found so appealing...  _Nope. Don't go there,_ she thought hastily, taking a gulp of her drink.  _Don't make it weird_. Still, she found herself hoping he wouldn't smile too widely; if she saw that gap in his teeth again it would be all over for her, and losing her cool over an old crush in public was an indignity she didn't need right now. She looked away.

Eddy was still going. She chewed and nodded, making a lukewarm attempt at appearing interested, when out of the corner of her eye she noticed a hand sneaking a fry off her plate. She stared across the table at Edd, confused; he had been subtle enough that the other two hadn't noticed. With a little half-smile he took a bite of the fry and winked at her. Marie's heart gave a jolt against her ribs. Good lord, was he FLIRTING?

He _was_. Her instincts rarely failed her when it came to this kind of thing, and at this very moment they were all pointing in a single direction. From beneath her astonishment a distinct smugness suddenly began to percolate. _Well, well, well_. The tenor of the evening had unexpectedly done an about-face, and an amusing new possibility, almost like a joke, dawned in the back of her mind:

_wouldn't it be funny_

_if we hooked up again?_

She snickered to herself, but the longer she thought about it the deeper the idea seemed to dig in. Once more she eyed him across the clutter of half-full cups and wadded-up napkins, more practically now, sizing up the odds. He was still watching her, trying not to be obvious about it from the looks of things. Marie drew a steady breath. Overworked, lonely, and terribly undersexed since her last breakup months ago, her mind made itself up all at once and without a shred of reservation: she was going to seduce him. Tonight.

Easy enough. If she had done it before, she could do it again, and no catching feelings this time- that much she would make sure of. She glanced down at her dinner with feigned bashfulness, then up again at him, bewitchingly, through her lashes. His cheeks went unmistakably pink- the desired effect. Apparently she hadn't been the only one struggling to stay composed this whole time. She playfully nudged his foot with her boot under the table, then waited; he didn't nudge back, but cracked a sudden wide grin, prompting Eddy to interrupt his own rambling anecdote. "It's not funny, man! I'm lucky I still have all my hair!" That was good enough for her.

She gave a big, conspicuous stretch, then started counting out her part of the check from the money Lee had left her. "Well boys, it's been great seeing you but I actually have to get up early for work tomorrow..."

"Aw, come on! The night's just getting started!"

"Sorry, but we'll have to do this again sometime. I'll tell my sisters you said hi." She shot Eddy a quick smirk before turning back to her wallet for the tip. Then, casually, without looking up: "Double D, d'you think you could walk me home?" 

It was quiet for a second; she felt three pairs of eyes on her, and wondered if maybe she had been too brazen, spoiling her chances. But Edd abruptly zipped up his jacket and stood. "You guys go ahead. I've got my car, I'll catch up with you later." Eddy opened his mouth to protest but quickly snapped it shut again; Marie was certain Ed had just kicked him under the table. She saw the two of them exchange a pointed look, and wondered exactly how much they knew about certain past events involving her, their best friend, and a whole lot of heavy breathing.

As a group they put down their money and vacated the booth. Once outside goodbyes were said, and earlier promises to catch up soon repeated, before parting ways. "Goodnight guys!" Ed called over his shoulder. Eddy for his part gave a halfhearted salute, then pulled up the hood of his coat before lumbering off, leaving Edd and Marie alone on the abandoned sidewalk. There was no one else around, though it wasn't particularly late; the cold had driven most of the local population indoors for the night.

A car alarm was going off in the distance. The streetlights cast a silvery glow, almost like moonlight. "This way," said Marie, jerking her head in the direction of her street, and they set off.

After about half a block of silent walking she spoke up, clearing her throat. "So. You seem a lot less surprised to see me than I am to see you." Edd laughed awkwardly.

"Well, meeting you here was unexpected, but I had hoped to track you down at some point while I was in town. I... I always regretted how we left things."

"Yeah..." she shrugged, hoping to appear nonchalant. "Same here. It's whatever; we were just kids, right?" Briskly, she changed the subject. "Anyway a lot's happened since then. Look at how good you're doing! Is it weird to say I'm kinda proud of you?"

He blushed again- something she loved to see him do. "Thanks; I suppose I'm managing well enough. But what about you? What's been going on in your life all this time?"

There was no avoiding the truth of her current circumstances at this juncture, but that didn't make her any more eager to discuss it. "Oh. Not much... mostly just working."

"You were going to school too, weren't you? At the community college."

"Yeah, I took a few classes. It didn't really work out though..." She shoved her hands deep into her pockets. "I couldn't afford school without a full-time job, but a full-time job doesn't really give you a lot of time and energy left over for school, you know? In the end it was just easier to cut my losses and focus on keeping my bills paid."

Edd looked thoughtful. He clearly wanted to know why she wasn't living at home anymore, but they were still circling each other, feeling out the boundaries. He went for a softball question instead. "Do you like your job?"

"No."

In the ensuing pause Marie fretted that her less-than-ideal fortunes were making him uncomfortable, or worse, causing him to pity her. But he only pressed the crosswalk button and gazed up at the dark sky. "Well... I imagine it's that much harder to make it on your own when you don't love what you're doing. I'm proud of you, too." Now it was her turn to blush, though she tried to play it off. The walk signal flashed and as they stepped into the road his hand brushed the small of her back; Marie couldn't be sure whether or not it was accidental, but her blood quickened nonetheless.

The wind was beginning to pick up as they arrived at her building. "Where are you parked?" He pointed back the way they had come. "Wanna come up? I can make you something warm for the walk back."

"That would be great."

Once inside they removed their heavy winter layers, then their shoes, standing side by side on the narrow doormat. She gestured to the couch on her way to the kitchen but he remained standing, taking stock of the punk flyers on the walls, the secondhand furniture, the dog-eared car magazines on the coffee table. "It's a nice place," he said charitably.

"Eh, it's cheap at least." Marie put the kettle on, glad she had cleared out all the empty bottles the day before; she tended to drink a lot when Beth wasn't around. The only two mugs in the house needed washing so she grabbed a sponge. "Cocoa'll be ready in a minute."

"Do you have any tea?"

"Cocoa's what I'm making so that's what you're getting."

"Yes ma'am."

She had meant it flippantly enough but something about his response, a sudden seriousness in his tone, made her stop mid-scrub. The back of her neck tingled. Certainly she already had designs on him for tonight, but now something else stirred in the hidden depths of her, something feral she usually took pains to keep on a leash. Even when it smelled fresh meat.

She almost scoffed at herself- what was she thinking? True, she had always had her suspicions about him, but those could be totally off-base. She dried the mugs distractedly. Started to call out to him in the other room, then thought better of it and reworded the question, rationalizing to herself in doing so that her intentions were entirely innocent.

"So you must be pretty buried in schoolwork all the time to get as far ahead as you are. That sounds like a lot of pressure."

"It is." His voice was closer than she expected; without turning around she knew he was now standing in the kitchen doorway. "Everyone thinks it comes naturally, but that doesn't mean I don't burn out on it like anyone else, from time to time."

She tore open two packets of instant cocoa mix at once. "Mmhmm." Poured them out. "I bet your whole life is just like, super-regimented, huh? No breaks from the responsibility." She turned to face him. "You've got to account for every single second of your day, with no one to take away any of that burden for you."

"That's about right, yes."

The kettle began to whistle, cutting off her reply and thwarting her nerve. Better to keep things simple, maybe. She filled their cups; he took one and clinked it against hers in a quick toast. They stood together in silence awhile, the cold of the linoleum seeping through their socks, sipping their drinks carefully. Edd regarded the rising steam for a time before speaking again.

"I hope it's okay that I'm here. I know you said you had to work early tomorrow."

"Relax. I invited you up, didn't I?"

"Marie, I..." He was stammering, struggling. "I know it's been forever since we talked, I don't want you to think I'm just..."

She waved him off. "Seriously, don't worry about it. Don't hang around just to spare my feelings if you've gotta get going, either- you've probably got a ton of things to do while you're in town. People to see, that kind of thing."

"Well, it's true that I have a lot of holiday obligations; it's been so long since I've been back. But it's nice to be here with you now." He took a sip. "It's good to see you again."

To anyone eavesdropping their conversation may have sounded clumsy, even stilted, but Marie was touched by the sincerity in his words. The tension between them was fast becoming unbearable, at least from where she was standing. She studied the way his long fingers wrapped around the chipped mug. She remembered his skin, hot beneath her hands in that dark little room years ago.

_All right_ , she decided, _enough small talk_. Time to seal the deal. She put down her cocoa and scratched her chin absently. "Do you want to see my room?" He placed his own drink on the counter next to hers, then followed her out of the kitchen and down the hall, where she opened her door with a flourish. "Ta da." It was warmer in here than the rest of the apartment; the Christmas lights were still on, casting a rosy, inviting glow. They blinked on and off, on and off.

"It's pretty," he said, but he was looking at her. For the first time that night she met his gaze directly, holding it, letting herself hang on to what she saw there. The quiet hum of the old radiator was the only sound. He reached up to brush her faded blue hair out of her eyes and with this touch, finally, it was like a dam breaking, she couldn't stop herself, couldn't stop the headlong rush into his arms, flooding his mouth with kisses.

The sigh he released around her lips betrayed ages of unspoken longing. He pushed her against the doorway, taking her face in both hands, and she felt herself melting into him, like dissolving into a galaxy of gentle stars. It was so, so good to be held again. The relief of intimacy was overwhelming, and she felt a sob begin to rise in the back of her throat. She hadn't counted on this. _It's too much_ , a voice in her head said. Too tender, too fast. With a sense of rising panic she broke away, unsteady on her feet.

In a few quick strides she crossed the room and stood there on the other side, arms folded. Edd stayed frozen in place, looking a little hurt, but rather than unceremoniously evaporating with this rift the feverish energy in the room seemed to gather, stormlike, somewhere in the air above them. With no small effort Marie composed herself, regarding him coolly. Once again her thoughts turned to that dark curiosity that had reared its head in the kitchen. There was something she could do now, something audacious, that would either prove her longstanding hunch correct or scare him off forever. Anything to pump the brakes on all this hellbent emotion.

She let go of the leash.

"Get down on your hands and knees."

He stared at her for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Just when she was sure he was about to leave, to run out of her room and out of her life for good, he sank down to the floor, keeping his eyes on hers.

She took a full deep breath, in and out, before continuing. "Crawl to me. Slowly. When you get here I want you to undress me."

This was how she had lost Tommy, or so he'd said. At first he had been willing to experiment, but he never took to this like she did, never found this place where sex opened up and made sense for her- where she was in control. It was weird, he had told her, a weird twisted game, and indecent, and she had believed him, but some kind of wounded contrarian in her just couldn't help herself after that. Even now. She could hardly believe Edd of all people was here playing along; as she watched him make his way to where she stood, jaw set with intent, she had the sinking feeling that she was only getting in deeper this way. Tempting fate.

But here he was. Carefully, so as not to throw off her balance, he lifted her left foot and rolled down her thick winter sock. "Good," she said. He hesitated, hand on her right foot now. "Keep going."

With those taken care of he sat back on his heels and began undoing her heavy studded belt. It fell to the floor with a loud clanking sound. He unbuttoned her pants, pulled down the zipper in a smooth motion, not too quickly. His face was close enough to her bare midriff that his warm breath touched skin, a spring breeze on this cold night, and she felt her nerve endings lighting up, felt herself pulse twice, hotly, down between her legs. But she kept her countenance stony, and only uncrossed her arms when he stood to lift her shirt over her head. She fleetingly wished her bra and underwear were a matching set, but no, it didn't matter. Not if she didn't want it to.

"Do you remember the last time we were together?"

"How could I forget?" His voice was hushed, but there was a knife-edge of need in it. "I still think about it all the time."

"I'm sure you do, honey. I bet you remember only one of us coming, too."

He looked at her.

"You owe me an orgasm."

Another long pause. Their faces were inches apart; she said nothing further, revealing nothing. He reached around to unhook her bra but she stopped him. "Nope." It only took him a second to understand and he nodded, wordlessly, before dropping to his knees again. His hands slid down her sides to rest on her hips, absently tracing the elastic waistband there with a fingertip. He kissed the soft spot right under her navel a few times, very lightly, then moved lower. She felt his hot breath through the rough cotton of her underpants. He nuzzled her like that for awhile, and it felt like a tease, like he was taking his sweet time, but she kept up her end of the game, betraying no impatience. Now he trailed one hand across the top of her thigh and reached under, hooking the already-damp fabric with two fingers and drawing it to the side.

Marie said "Ah," just once, as she felt the first touch of his lips, then his tongue. The sensation made her head swim. She leaned her back against the wall but his hands firmly held her hips in place. Apparently he'd had some practice- she'd been with guys who claimed to be naturally good at it, but she never believed them. Nobody's born knowing how to eat pussy. He was lapping gently, moving his head in small circles, alternating between broad and pinpointed pressure with his tongue. She stifled a moan.

" _Shit_ ," she hissed between her teeth. She gripped the back of his head, urging him to pick up the pace. He darted his tongue inside her a few times, then slid his fingers in, moving his lips up to suck gently right where it felt best. She was panting now, starting to buck her hips involuntarily, and soon clapped a hand over her face to keep from crying out as she came against his open mouth. The walls here were thin; she didn't need the neighbors gossiping.

The coolness of the windowsill was very welcome as she took a seat there to recollect her wits (and readjust her underwear). Edd climbed to his feet, a little stiffly, and settled on the edge of the bed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He had gone along with everything eagerly enough but she still felt a tic of guilt, a need to apologize. She crossed her arms again, self-protectively. "You didn't have to say yes to any of this... you know that, right?" An echo of an old conversation.

"Of course." 

"I just want you to know I'm not interested in forcing you, or hurting or humiliating you. I'd never do that."

"I know you wouldn't. This is... this is the way I like it." He seemed at a loss for what to do with his hands; they wrested in his lap, searching for the right words. "Giving you permission to take charge of me. Trusting you to wield that kind of power without abusing the position... it's... it's profoundly arousing."

She allowed herself a flicker of satisfaction at that. "Have all your relationships been that way? I mean I'm assuming you've had them."

"Not many... I've been pretty focused on my studies. But a few." He shifted in his seat. "None of them were really into this, though; it's hard to find a girl who doesn't want _me_ to take control, and who doesn't take a proclivity for submission as a mark against my masculinity."

She snorted. "Yeah, that's exactly what men need: permission to be more selfish in bed."

"Spoken like the voice of experience!"

"Let's just say I didn't charm you over here because you were an unknown quantity." She peered outside. Somewhere in the midst of their distraction it had started snowing- big soft flakes, accumulating rapidly. Visibility was poor but she could make out her building's back alley as its harsh edges softened into formlessness; it wasn't hard to picture the state of the roads, and by the time Edd appeared beside her at the window she already had an offer on deck. "It's looking pretty wild out there. You should spend the night." 

"Are you sure? I'd hate to intrude."

"Even if you could find your way back to your car in this mess it wouldn't be safe to drive- more convenient for me if I don't have to worry about you. Come on, it'll be like a slumber party."

The idea seemed to tickle him, but he was still clinging to some semblance of decorum. "I can take the couch if you like."

Marie rolled her eyes. "Get real, you literally just had your face buried in my crotch. Here-" she cleared the bed of clutter, fluffing up the blankets before crawling beneath them. Rather than extend an invitation right away, however, she issued a new order. "Take your clothes off for me."

He jumped to obey, not so shy anymore. She observed with appreciation. His tangled limbs, his hipbones, light trails of hair- it all nourished that long-held desire that almost comforted her, familiar and precious, like a blazing hearth. She could have made a meal of him then and there. Made a home of him. Soon he was down to his boxers, and she patted the space beside her. "That's enough. Lose the socks, but keep the hat if you like." He did so, then joined her in the bed, where she giggled and pulled the covers over their heads. A giddy sort of tussle followed, her face buried in the hollow of his neck, fighting to get closer, snuggling down into a cozy nest that smelled of sleep and shampoo. The roiling blankets muffled the sound but she could feel his laughter. He rolled on top of her and she beamed up at him in the low pink light.

"You gonna kiss me goodnight?"

His expression was eager, but he said, "Only if you want me to."

"I want you to."

They made out for awhile, all tongues and grasping hands, flushed and breathless. Marie basked in the nearness of him. She hitched up a leg, wrapping around his waist, making their proximity a damn sight more personal; she could feel him swelling against her, rock-hard, and heard him whisper an oath as she pressed into him there. A throbbing, delicious pressure. From behind she tugged at his shorts, desperate now, and when he moved to help her pull them down there was no need to ask where things were headed next. 

She threw back the covers and sat up, rummaged in her nightstand drawer for a second, then tossed him a condom, hoping it wasn't too old to be effective. While he put it on she yanked off her bra and tossed it to the side, wiggled out of her underwear as fast as she could. Once more they collided, pawing at each other, but this time she came out on top with a victorious whoop. From her position astride him she was unable to keep from staring, hungrily, like she might never get the chance again.

When she arched her back and lifted her hips he had the good sense to heed her unspoken demand, entering her with as much gentleness as their hurry allowed; a sharp cry escaped her, but who could possibly bother with being quiet anymore? Let the neighbors hear. He palmed her breasts, stroking them in a way that brought her right up to the edge, much sooner than she was ready for. She took his hands and moved them to her waist, shaking her head at him but smiling. Together they rocked and pitched, quickly finding a tempo that crackled with pleasure. Edd bit his lip and closed his eyes. An intoxicating picture, to be sure, but those hands were starting to creep up again... she pinned them above his head by the wrists; now they were grinding belly to belly, perspiring with the effort. He gasped, twisting in her grip, and she sank her teeth into his shoulder, fiercely, heatedly.

She was amazed at how well her body remembered his, even after all this time. His sweat on her skin, on her tongue, made her feel drunk. _Too much_... From inside the hot hidden place where they were joined a great rush was spreading, washing her carefully-constructed defenses away, forcing her to confront the ache in her chest that had begun to grow the moment she saw him in the diner...

Of course she wanted him- hadn't she always? But she wanted so much in life, maybe more than she deserved: a better place to live, a job she didn't hate, a brighter future... a dad who stuck around. The ability to laugh with no trace of bitterness anymore. A quiet place in her own mind where she could cocoon herself and emerge as something better, something stronger and smarter, more worthy of love. She starved for these things, lost sleep over them. But the one thing she did not want, couldn't bear to want because she knew it couldn't be done halfway, was to need him in her life. Her heart just couldn't take it.

From the look on his face he was hurtling towards his climax, slipping away beneath her. She wanted to meet him there. Reaching down, she touched herself, felt herself blooming around him, releasing his wrists so she could prop herself up with her other arm. His freed hands clawed at the sheets, dug into the meat of her backside hard enough to leave marks, and she swore like a criminal as she came, harder this time, no holding back. In a fit he drove to catch up, drove into her, calling her name over and over.

Amidst the aftershocks and the fight for air she collapsed against him, wrung out. Hugged him close with shaking arms. 

_You're mine_ , she thought. _Just for tonight, just for this moment, I've got you_.

                                                                                                                                   ***

Hours later, Marie crept naked from the bed, down the hall and back into the kitchen. From behind the microwave she pulled a dusty pack of Lucky Strikes, the one she had hidden away for emergencies or special occasions after Tommy had pressured her to quit. The gas burner clicked a few times before producing a low flame, and she lit a cigarette with it, cracking the small nearby window before taking a drag. 

Only a few scattered flakes were falling on the smooth expanse of snow now. In a few hours the plows would be out, easily clearing the roads for business as usual to continue undisrupted. She glanced down the hall through her open door; the top of Edd's head was just visible above the covers, where she had left him, spent and sleeping peacefully. She had resisted the urge to watch him, to memorize his face at rest. In the morning, she knew, she would ask him to leave.

With slumped shoulders she looked around: at the dingy apartment, at the cigarette between her fingers, at her cheerless, demoralizing existence. What could someone like her possibly have to offer him? That very shame had dogged her since childhood, only growing more persistent as the years went by. Like a shadow it had haunted her every move tonight; there was no escaping it.

Yet here in the kitchen, perhaps shaken loose by the whirlwind that had come before, a new feeling began to gleam in that shadow, so faint that she held her breath for fear of losing hold of it. A sliver of newfound clarity. Her life was a mess, yes. But if she ever wanted to share it, with Edd or with anyone, ever wanted to stop feeling this way, it was time to start getting her shit together. Simple as that.

She stubbed out the cigarette in the sink. Without turning on a light she felt her way around the corner to where her coat hung by the front door, groped blindly until she found the pocket and pulled out her phone.  The screen had cracked ages ago, and the battery was running low, but she punched in the numbers she had long since deleted, numbers she still knew by heart.

It rang once, then again. Someone picked up.

"Hi, Mom. It's me."

 


End file.
